Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Banta had been hit by a car

Santa calls an ambulance because his mate Banta had been hit by a car......
santa-banta
Santa: 'Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken.


'Operator: 'What is your location sir?'
Santa: 'Outside 28 Connaught Place .
'Operator: 'How do you spell that sir?'

Silence.... (heavy breathing) and after a minute...
Operator: 'Are you there sir?'

More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: 'Sir, can you hear me?' This goes on for another few minutes until....

Operator: 'Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?'

Santa: 'Yes, sorry about dat... I couldn't spell Connaught place, so I just dragged him round to Minto road ....tussi Minto

Road de spelling note karo.????

After the elections Manmohan ji went back to punjab

ManmohanAfter the elections, Manmohan ji went back to punjab. As usual, he took his chetak scooter, filled
petrol for 50Rs and went to the market.

After a little while, his scooter sputtered and died. He'd forgotten that petrol now costs Rs 75/litre. Cursing his luck, he pushed his scooter to the market.


He bought vegetables, gave a 100 rupee note to the sabjiwala and waited to receive the balance. But sabjiwala wanted 5 Rs more. Promising to give it the next day, he went and caught a bus home.

Without realizing that the minimum charge is now 7 Rs, he gave his last 2 Rs to the conductor.

After getting kicked out of the bus, he started walking home.

One question was still bothering him
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Saaalaa...
How the hell did we manage to win even 44 seats....!!!!

Tere pyar me fanna ho jaungi

I love u
tere-pyar-me-fanna-ho-jaungi
I can't live without u!
mar jaungi...!
mit jaungi..!

Jehar pee jaungi
tere pyar me fanna ho jaungi!

Pati:
dekh le jaise tujhe thik lage..

Whatsapp jokes padh-padhke bigad gayi ho

3rd class ka Bachcha: Madam, main aapko kaisa lagta hoon?
Whatsapp jokes padh-padhke bigad gayi ho
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Madam: So sweet.
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Bachcha: To main apne Mummy Papa ko kab bheju aapke ghar?


Madam: Kyun?
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Bachcha: Baat aage badhane ke liye.
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Madam: Yeh kya bakwass hai..!
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Bachcha: Tution ke liye... Kya Madam! Aap bhi na kasam se Whatsapp jokes padh-padhke bigad gayi ho

Friday, September 19, 2014

TUFANI BARISH ADHI RAAT

TUFANI BARISH
dominos-pe-pizza
ADHI RAAT
aadmi Dominos pe pizza lene aya
Waiter: Aap MARRIED ho ?
Aadmi: Kutte, aise tufan me kaunsi Maa apne bete ko pizza lene bhejti hai !

Mujhe Ajeeb si Bimari Ho Gai Hai

Husband : Mujhe Ajeeb si Bimari Ho Gai Hai...Jab Meri Biwi Bolti Hai To Mujhe Kuchh Sunaai Nahi Deta...
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Hakim:
Mashaalla Ye Bimari Nahin,...Tum par Allah Ki Rehmat Hui Hai !!!

All men are brave

All Men are Brave,
Horror Movies don't Scare them....
But 5 Missed Calls from Wife ..surely do...

Your own Supari

Getting married is like giving
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"Your own Supari"

Game that reflects the status of the husband

Chess is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the husband.
the poor king can take only one step at a time ...
While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.

Kya Gift Dun

Hubby Ke B'day Par Wife Ne Pucha-
Kya Gift Dun??

Monday, September 15, 2014

why is your mummy sitting silently today

Papa : why is your mummy sitting silently today.
Son : nothing papa. She asked for lipstick and I heard fevi-stick.
Papa: (with tears in eyes) god bless you son.?

Law of equality

Law of equality..
The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll call u in 5 min!

Monday, September 8, 2014

A Man speaks 25000 words Daily and Woman speaks 30000

Normally A Man speaks 25000 words Daily & Woman speaks 30000.

But the Problem starts When Husband comes Home after finishing his 25000 words and Wife starts her 30000

Sunday, September 7, 2014

So you control your wife

In heaven God told all husbands & wives to gather for a meeting!

He told the men to stand in two queues...

Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad ayi

Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad ayi,
Jab jhoom ke barsa sawan teri yaad ayi,
Jab-jab mein bhiga teri yaad ayi,
Ab raha nahin jata,
Chatri Lauta de Bhai.

Jab dekha unhone tirchi nazar se

Jab dekha unhone tirchi nazar se,
Kasam khuda ki madhosh ho gaye hum,

Dosti ka safar lamba hua to kya hua

Dosti ka safar lamba hua to kya hua, thoda tum chalo,thoda hum chalenge, fir
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Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota

Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota,
Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota,

Phone mat kiya karo Dear

Phone mat kiya karo Dear,
Mom hoti hai near,
Papa se lagta hai fear

Zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap

Zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,
wah wah..
zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,

Friday, September 5, 2014

Aasma mein kaali ghata chai hai

Aasma mein kaali ghata chai hai,
Aaj fir principal se mar khai hai,
Sab kehte hai sudhar ja, Kya kare aaj madam fir sheela ban ke aayi hai

CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye toh PAAON mein nahi aati

CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye toh PAAON mein nahi aati,
Wah-Wah,
CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye to PAAON mein nahi aati,
Aur GIRLFRND moti ho jaye to BAHON mein nahi aati

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

ankho main nami or vitamin ki kami

Arz kiya hai ankho main nami thi,
Aur vitamin ki kami thi..
Wah Wah
Jis se raat bhar chatting ki woh
girl friend ki mummy thi..

Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.

Arz kiya hai..
Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.
Wah wah..
Gor farmaiye..
Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.
Use jo mohabbat samjhe wo sabse bada Gadha hai

One spelling mistake in hurry can make hell

One spelling mistake in hurry can make hell.. ?!

Husband wrote a romantic message to his wife on his official trip and missed an "e" in the last word.
Now he is seeking police protection to enter his own house....

He wrote "Hi darling I'm experiencing the best time of my life & I wish you were her."???

We Indians Are Unique

We Indians Are Unique

1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl.

2. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta.

3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway stn) is an important family affair.

Friday, August 22, 2014

koi yaadon se pyar karta hai

Koi yaadon se pyar karta hai,
Koi pyar me yaadein jata hai,
Kispe kre aithbar
Pyar pe ya yaadon par,
Aksar pyar karne wale yaadein dekar chle jate hai.

Dedicated to parents

Dedicated to our parents
" Neend apni bhula ke sulaya hmko,
ansu apne gira kr hsaya hmko,
dard kabhi na dena us khuda ki tasvir ko,
khuda bi khta hai maa-baap jisko.. "

Vishwas ke layak insaan nhi milta

Sangeet sunkar gyan nhi milta,
Mandir jaakar Bhagwan nhi milta,
Pathar ko log isliye pujte hai
Kyuki viswas ke layak insaan nhi milta.

sone wale yatri

Sone wale yatri kripya dhyan de.. good morning express aapke mobile ke platform par aa chuki hai. Sweet passengers se anurodh hai ki wo jag jayein.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Jab kabhi hame yaad kro

Jab kabhi hame yaad kro to chand ko dekhna, ye soch ke nhi ki khubsurat hai wo sitaro ke bech me balki ye soch ke yaad karna ki wo tanha hai hazaro ke bech main hmari trah.

Happy Birthday kehne Aya Hu

Dastak di kisine, kaha khushiyan laya hun.
Inbox chotta na pad jaye itni duvayein laya hun.

Naam hai mera " SMS" and happy birthday kehne aaya hu. 

Jado Papu 4 Bje Uth Gya

1 din papu 4 bje uth gya.
Ma : papu mera putr, Papu mera sher, Padh likhke paisa kmaega dher.
Papu : na me tera putr, na tera sher, susu karn utha c, saun lga hun pher.

 
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